Posted by: laughs4dads | October 6, 2010

Ready-to-Poop

I have a great new product idea: designer garbage bags.

You’ll be the envy of your neighbors when you take out these artful bagfuls of trash. They will know that you’re a person of taste, not to mention extra cash that you can spend on brightly designed, heavily logoed, Hefty Bags.

Is that a billion dollar idea or what?

If you don’t think so, then explain the current rash of designer diapers (pun intended). Same principle as garbage bags: you buy them; you fill them with crap; you throw them away.

And they’re selling like hotcakes. Really…smelly…hotcakes.

At Pampers® Village™ (motto: “The ickiest little town on Earth.”), you can see Cynthia Rowley’s new designs for day and evening pooping. Huggies®, meanwhile, has come out with jeans diapers, so your baby can strut around looking like Jack Nicholson in “Five Easy Feces.”

The parents who pay a premium for these things give a whole new meaning to the term “disposable income.”

You just know that Ralph Lauren is getting ready to put little polo players on a diaper and that the competitors on Project Runway are about to get a really gross challenge:

Tim: Okay, designers. Make it wee wee.
Heidi: One day it’s in, next day it’s out.

I can imagine the day when I’ll be walking down a street in New York City, and there’ll be some guy on the corner selling designer diaper knock-offs. “Psst. These are real Louis Vuitton. Guaranteed genuine.”

They may look good, but wait until the stuff comes leaking out of the inferior Taiwanese padding.

In the official press release announcing the Pampers Cynthia Rowley line, Ms. Rowley is quoted as saying, “As a mom, I wanted other moms and dads to have more options in every part of their lives — even diapers. It’s the first piece of clothing your baby will ever wear, and it should be special.”

Well, if you ask me, that statement makes Cynthia Rowley a lot like her used diapers, if you get my drift.

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