Posted by: laughs4dads | October 19, 2010

Tuesday Special: Drug Warning for Parents

Warning: Don’t let your kids know where your stash is.

As reported yesterday by David Lohr on AOL News, police in Matthews, N.C. arrested the parents of a fifth grader after the kid brought the parents’ marijuana stash to school and turned his folks in. The 11-year-old was responding to a presentation by D.A.R.E. (Drug Abuse Resistance Education), the national organization that sends local police into schools to spread the message that drugs are bad.

Although the parents were released until a scheduled court appearance, their children were scooped up by Social Services and sent to a relative’s house so they could search for drugs there.

Well, let me just say that nobody in this story is smarter than a fifth grader.

>The parents are idiots for not hiding their drugs in a safer place. I mean, where was the pot? In a kitchen cannister? “Coffee.” “Flour.” “Sugar.” “Grass.” Couldn’t they have at least hid it behind the scotch? If the parents in my neighborhood were this stupid, they’d all be in jail, and all their kids would be living with great uncles in the boondocks.

>The police aren’t stupid necessarily, but maybe a tad lazy. Shouldn’t they have investigated further? What if the marijuana was a plant–a pot plant? What if the kid is framing his parents because he wants to live with his hot Aunt Suzy who lives in a better place than Matthews, N.C. because, really, wouldn’t that be just about anywhere? (According to its website, the big attraction in Matthews is the train depot. No kidding.)

>Social Services isn’t too bright, either. What kind of example are they setting? How are they encouraging other kids to turn in their parents if they respond by sending the kids away, possibly to crazy Uncle Louie who collects dead squirrels.

>I have to criticize D.A.R.E., too. I must say that I’ve always been a fan of the program, because in our town, they sent in a really cool cop who the kids adored and they gave out free t-shirts. But I don’t remember the presentations including instructions about turning all Hitler Youth on your parents. Maybe they’re a little less laid back in North Carolina.

>But, most of all, I have to say the dumbest person in this story is the kid. I mean, come on! When in life do you get this much leverage on your parents? “Mom, dad, I’ve got your drugs, and I’m turning you in unless…” A raise in allowance? A puppy? Porn? A dirt bike? The kid could have asked for anything. Instead, he runs straight to the police.

And there wasn’t even a reward!

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